Introduction to Bereavement and Loss (04:47)
Dr. Anthony Crouch says loss is central to our lives. Depending on their distress tolerance, people who have experienced loss sometimes put their feelings in a "freezer" to function. This can lead to complex grief or compromise emotional intelligence.
A Personal Request (01:51)
Crouch introduces a session with Kate, who has experienced overwhelming losses. He was moved by her pain; he asks viewers to watch with respect.
Counseling Session (34:29)
Kate has lost her mother, separated from her partner, and sold her parent's home after her father moved into a facility. She discusses complicated relationships with both parents. Normally stoic, she tries to have compassion for herself. Crouch says there is opportunity to change her perspective.
Counseling Session with Commentary: Unconscious Competence (05:51)
Crouch compares counseling to riding a bicycle and uses seven parallel processes in his model. These include working safely, working with a relationship, working with difference and diversity, working with the client factors, being self-aware, modality, and reflecting on the session.
Losing a Parent (06:58)
Crouch requests viewers to watch the session with respect. He summarizes Kate's recent losses. Kate discusses her mother's sudden death and their difficult relationship. She misses her more as time passes.
Parent-Child Relationships (03:21)
After separating from her partner of 11 years, Kate thought she was mourning him, but she was really missing her mother, with whom she was not close. She explains her father's difficulties with aging and losing his independence.
Kate's Presenting Issues (02:36)
Crouch reflects on Kate's grief for her mother, with whom she had a difficult relationship; Kate's separation from her partner; and the ambiguous loss of her father, who is becoming unfamiliar as he ages. She has also lost her family home.
How the Past can Shape the Present (04:43)
Kate's father feels she has abandoned him in a residential home; she says he abandoned her when she was young. Crouch discusses feelings of anger and fear that accompany loss, including the importance of creating a safe space for women to express anger.
Challenging Kate (05:27)
Kate's grief has restricted her from functioning normally. With Crouch's encouragement, she acknowledges she must learn to be more compassionate toward herself.
Facilitating Hope within Kate (11:26)
Kate is grieving while living alone and has also lost her family home. She lacks the energy to do normal activities. Research has shown hope to be important for clients working through loss; Crouch tells her there is opportunity for change in her life.
Three Therapeutic Goals (08:13)
Crouch asks Kate to create an "inner mother." Research shows consensus and collaboration are important to the therapeutic process. Crouch asks Kate to find a new concept of home, develop inner compassion, and "digest" her emotions around loss.
Digesting Grief (06:17)
Kate recalls having to stop a netball game after injuring herself, which she compares to her current situation. She cries; Crouch says he sees a beautiful person in pain and encourages her to sit with her emotion.
Therapeutic Conclusion to the Session (02:23)
Crouch describes three key things that happen toward the session's end. He has created a safe space for Kate to sit with her grief, he self-discloses how he sees her, and they connect the real relationship.
Factors Contributing to Therapeutic Change (09:44)
In the traditional medical model, a doctor treats a passive patient. A new therapeutic change model relies on client factors of hope and distress tolerance and relationship factors of the working alliance, transference and counter-transference relationship, and the real relationship. Crouch describes each.
Practitioner Factors (04:31)
Treatment factors are less important than client and relationship factors. Crouch discusses how his own self-awareness and self-development enabled him to use empathic listening with Kate. He describes his own losses and an episode triggering emotional "defrosting."
Review Session with Commentary (02:44)
Kate was moved to tears watching a DVD of her initial session from two years ago. She realizes that her grief remains, although it is less raw.
New Lease on Life (05:24)
Kate discusses finding a new home after losing her parent's home. She feels connected to and held by the land, and has become a shamanic healer. She reflects on uncovering new possibilities and turning 60.
Kate discusses how her self-awareness has improved; she is conscious of the need to balance work projects, gardening and home life.
Relationship Beyond Death (04:37)
Crouch points out that losing someone special will always affect you. Kate has communicated with her mother through a spiritual medium and feels their relationship has improved. She recalls how being truly seen and heard by Crouch improved her view of herself.
Being Human (04:12)
Kate agrees that she has moved to a more hopeful phase of grief. At the initial session two years earlier, she had felt physical as well as emotional pain. Crouch discusses how feeling loss deeply reflects a relationship's importance.
Embracing Emotional Pain (02:48)
Crouch tried to move Kate towards her grief, to avoid her suppressing her emotions. Their session inspired her to use homeopathic remedies and massage treatments, in addition to counseling.
Subconscious Processing (03:16)
Crouch and Kate talk about digesting grief, rather than suppressing it.
Helping the Self to Help Others (02:48)
Kate believes it is important for people to discover who they are and the gifts that they have. Crouch discusses how improving individuals improves their communities as well.
Growing with Grief (04:15)
Kate discusses ways in which the grief process has helped her to relate to others experiencing pain and loss. The words digest, grief, and home have changed in meaning for her. She is excited about the next phase of life.
Kate's Therapeutic Change and Outcomes (05:27)
Crouch explains that self-development is central to therapeutic counseling. Kate's work since her initial session resulted in creating a meaningful home, learning effective self-care, and a transformed relationship with her mother's spirit. Her losses no longer overwhelm her.
Importance of Hope and the Real Relationship (01:43)
Crouch discusses how his intervention to facilitate hope in Kate has helped her achieve therapeutic change. Kate saw their profound client-therapist connection as a gift.
Theory of Loss and Change (01:23)
Overwhelming feelings of loss and sadness can be lessened by talking with a counselor or support person. Staying with and digesting the pain and learning self-compassion can change people in positive ways.
Credits: Bereavement and Loss Counseling (00:08)
Credits: Bereavement and Loss Counseling
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